Friday, September 23, 2016

Gary and Charles

Once upon a time, in a land called Endobaria lived a great prince named Charles the Second. Charles the Second's father was named Gary the Second, and he greatly envied his son because his name sounded way cooler and king-like. So Gary the Second came up with a sinister plot to get rid of Charles the Second forever. You see, Charles the Second really liked jello, so Gary the Second came to him one day, and told him all about jello land, a magical kingdom far far away, where everything was made of jello. But Charles the second of course, being as smart as he was, told his father everything he knew about pine cones, which wasn't very much actually, but since there were no pine cones in Endobaria, it seemed fascinating to Gary the Second, so he sat there and listened to him for the whole thirty seconds that Charles the Second was talking. Then Gary the Second went peacefully to bed. That night, Gary the Second came up with another sinister plan to rid Endobaria of Charles the Second forever. In the morning, Gary the second snuck out of his bed, and tip toed over to Charles the Second's room. There, right next to Charles the Second's bed, he took out his kazoo, and blew into it as hard as he could and shouted "Surprise!" and told him that it was his birthday, and that he was giving him a free trip to Disney World. But Charles the Second, being as smart as he was, knew that Disney World was on earth, which was a totally different planet, which was in a totally different solar system, which was in a totally different galaxy, which was in a totally different Universe. So Charles the Second said ok, and went over to his favorite closet to play checkers with his cat, Mary the Second, who couldn't actually play checkers, but moved around the pieces one at a time, so it was close enough. Gary the Second thought that Charles the Second had actually left, so he went to celebrate. He didn't actually do much celebrating, he just threw away his name plate on his throne that said 'Gary the Second' and put the one that said 'Charles the Second' on. Then of course, Charles the Second came out of the closet, and Gary the Second's plan was totally ruined. The End

Friday, September 9, 2016

A Brief Summary of How My Summer Went

When summer started, I was doing math. Then, when I finished my math, we were going to do more school. But as always, Mama totally forgot that she wanted to do school through the summer, and we had a summer! So we went to Seaside Oregon, and ate ice cream and rode our bikes. Then, I won a writing contest, and got a gift card at city hall.  Then, for fourth of July, we kayaked over to our friend's grandma's house and I got to launch off fireworks. Then, we went to summer camp at Black Lake Bible Camp. Then, we went to our church family reunion at Black lake Summer Camp. Then, we went camping for Kivi's birthday. Then, we went to Seaside again. And now, we have started school. The End.

Monday, July 11, 2016

The Not Factor

Grapes are better than not grapes. It's just a fact. Now, you may be wondering, "Wait, just what exactly are not grapes?" Well, not grapes are pretty much just like grapes. But not. An example of a not grape would be a taco. Just like an example of a not taco is a grape. Then again, an example of a not grape could also be nothing. So when you say, "Grapes are better than not grapes", you are not referring to every single not grape in existence, because lets say that you really like tater tot casserole, and really hate potato salad, and you say that grapes are better than not grapes. Not grapes are basically anything that aren't grapes, including tater tot casserole and potato salad. But that's ok, because when you say that grapes are better than not grapes, you are referring to only nothing, or potato salad, or any thing else that you don't like. And you can apply the not factor to anything. Not just grapes. You could say that lamps are better than not lamps, or that cheese is better than not cheese. So now you know about the not factor.

Friday, June 24, 2016


One day, there was a flish. The flish was a very smish flish, and it had a dish. On the dish, the flish served kish to pish. That same day, there was a pish. The pish was at the local mish, and it was being served kish from a flish. This particular flish was very rish. It served kish like a shish, and was nice to the pish. The pish liked the flish, so the pish gave the flish some zish. The flish liked the zish, so the flish liked the pish. The pish went to the flish and said nish. The flish went to the pish and said nish. The pish and the flish were yish.

Tuesday, June 14, 2016

You are not a fish


You are not a fish.


No really, you are not.


Ok, seriously, you are NOT a fish.


You do realize that you are actually saying words right now, and a fish can't do that.


Fish can't talk.


Fish can't even type in all caps.


In fact, fish can't type at all.


Ok, I do not see AT ALL how you could be a fish.


Fish have flippers.


Fish have gills.


Fish have scales.


Fish aren't even humanoid.


No, you are not.





Monday, June 6, 2016

The Blob

One day there was a blob. The blob was yellow, and green, and red, and blue, and black, and pink. One day, the blob decided to go swimming. So it got in the water. The water was very cold. The blob got out of the water. The blob still wanted to go swimming though, so he went to a pool, and got in, but everyone at the pool was too scared of him, so he got out. Then he had an Idea. He went back to the lake, where he got into a kayak and rode out into the lake. Then the kayak tipped over, and the water was still very cold, so he decided to go to the zoo and look at giraffes instead. The End

Tuesday, May 31, 2016

The Strange pie man Meets the Crazy turkey from the Past who has been Brought to the Future by a Time Machine Made out of Nine Million Sixty Thousand One Hundred and Twenty Three Peanuts, Twenty Two Toasters, and Sixty Nine Giant Socks Woven Together By an Ancient wizard Who can Harness the Powers of the Sun At Will

One day, the Strange pie man was walking down the sidewalk, (like most characters in these types of stories do), when suddenly, there was a big flash of light! The Strange pie man let out a scream. "IT'S A TIME MACHINE!!!!!!!" He yelled. But it turned out, that it wasn't actually a time machine, and it was just a big flash of light. So the Strange pie man kept walking down the sidewalk. He had been walking for about half an hour, when suddenly, there was a big flash of light! The Strange pie man let out a sigh. "Oh great, another big flash of light." he said. And he kept walking. Unfortunately, he could not continue his walk, because as soon as he started walking, he ran into a time machine. The Strange pie man let out a yelp. "IT'S A GIANT TOASTER!!!!!" he yelled. But then, out of the giant toaster, came the Strange pie man's friend, the Crazy turkey! The Strange pie man was happy to see him. "Crazy turkey!" he said, "I haven't seen you since you fired that first shot at the revolutionary war, then threw sally into the ocean! What happened to her anyway?"
"Oh, Sally got saved by a seagull after swallowing some seawater, and sinking in a submarine made of salt." said the Crazy turkey.
"Oh yeah!" said the Strange pie man. "That sounds like Sally! So how did you get here to the future?"
"Oh, I met this Ancient wizard who was having a garage sale, so I bought 9,060,123 peanuts, 22 toasters, and nine giant socks, that he had made himself, and a book." said the Crazy turkey. "I went home to read my book, and inside, it had instructions to make a time machine! And it just so happened that the time machine recipe called for exactly 9,060,123 peanuts, 22 toasters, and nine giant socks woven together by an Ancient wizard. So I put it together. Then the book said to take it to the nearest Ancient wizard you know, to make it work. So I took my time machine to the Ancient wizard, and he took out a glowing orange circle with some pictures and writing engraved into it, and put it in one of the toasters. Then he pushed down the toaster lever, and we had to wait a few minutes for it to toast. Then, it finally popped out, and the Ancient wizard left. So I got into my time machine and appeared here."
"Oh, okay!" said the Strange pie man.
So the two walked away together, still good friends. (Not that there was anything wrong with there friendship in the first place.)

The End