Tuesday, April 26, 2016

The Clock

Once upon a time, there was a young boy. The young boy's name was Liff. One day, Liff was just walking down the street, when he tripped. Then, he went flying. Then he fell. And he fell and fell and fell and fell and fell until he hit the ground. Thankfully, he landed in a big truck full of wet cement. Unthankfully, as soon as he fell, the cement hardened. So then he was stuck. But Liff new that he could get out, because he always kept a hammer in his shirt pocket. So he hammered himself out, got out of the truck, and continued walking down the street. Then, a giant dorito fell out of the sky and crushed his sandwich. So he picked up the dorito to have later for lunch. Then, as he was going back home, he looked to see what he had tripped on. It was a clock. A clock made out of tacos.

Wednesday, April 20, 2016

Gilbert and Horny

Once upon a time, there were two people. The two people were named Gilbert and Horny. Gilbert liked to ride his bike. Horny liked to drive his car. One day, Gilbert decided that he was going to go on a trip to Stanalualua. So Gilbert packed up his stuff, put it on his bike, and went. He had been gone for about three days, when Horny decided to go and check on him. So Horny packed up his stuff, put it in his car, and drove off to Stanalualua. When he got there, he started looking for Gilbert. Everybody who knew him, said that he was staying at the handcuff inn. So Horny went to the handcuff inn, and there, in his room was Gilbert, handcuffed to his bed. So Horny uncuffed Gilbert, and they both left the handcuff inn. Then they went to the market, and grabbed some chocolate potstickers, and some doughnuts. Then, they both left Stanalualua in Horny's car, because Gilbert's bike had been stolen. The End

Wednesday, April 13, 2016

Captain's Log

Captain's Log, April 15, 1912, 11:30 pm - Today marks our 310 day aboard the RMS Titanic. It has been a long and peaceful voyage, and at the moment, we are passing some beautiful ice bergs. The breakfast kitchens have just opened, and I have retreated to the main deck to enjoy the beautiful ocean view with my morning coffee.  - 11:48 pm - I am being called up to the wheel to consult a problem. It appears that we are approaching a large ice berg that we cannot avoid. No worries though, for this is the RMS Titanic, the ship unsinkable. I am now putting on full power to the engines. We will break strait through that ice berg like it's nothing! Here we go, we are almost there... closer, closer, and... Ahhh! Oh my goodness! The hull is badly damaged and we are sinking, I repeat, the unsinkable is sinking! Kshhhht- Everyone remain calm. Please report to the main decks and load up into the life boats. Woman and Children first please, woman and children first. Kshhhht- Well, I should get in to a lifeboat, because this thing is going down. This is Captain Edward Smith, Signing out.

Monday, April 11, 2016

Minecraft Instructions 12

When ever I go to computer clubhouse, after all of the badge earning and makerfest stuff, we play minecraft edu. While everybody else is building little hidey holes, and tiny little huts, our teacher builds these huge mansions, with elaborate and beautiful gardens, pools, water falls, and hidden grottos. I am always so jealous of how beautiful her houses are, and now I am going to tell you how to make the things you will need if you want a house like that.

#1 The most important thing you will need, and also one of the most important substances in minecraft: Wood Planks. It really is very simple to make them. After chopping down a tree, you take the wood, and put it in your crafting space. Boom, wood planks.

#2 If you want to make a beautiful garden or pool, then what better to make the floor out of than fancy gray bricks. To make them, first go mining for some stone. Then cook the cobblestone in your furnace to make just plain stone. Then in your crafting table, or just your plain old inventory crafting space, make a 2x2 square out of stone, and Ta da! Four stone bricks!

#3 Want to keep animals in their pens? Want to keep burglars out of your property? Want a protective yet fashionable wall around your garden? Try fences! To make them, first put one wood plank in the middle of the middle row on your crafting table. Then put another wood plank in the middle of the bottom row. That is how you make a stick. Do this a number of times before you continue. Now, fill the entire middle row and the entire bottom row with sticks. You now have two fences! You might want to do that a couple times, so that you have enough fence to surround your whole property.

#4 You can not jump over fences, so how are you going to get into a closed of space? The answer: A fence gate. It acts just like a door, but it is only one block tall, and looks like it is part of the fence. To craft it, put wood planks in the middle squares of both the middle and bottom rows of your crafting table. Then on the left and right sides of the middle and bottom rows, put sticks. Voila! A wonderful fence gate is at your disposal!

#5 Now, finding a pool that is exactly the shape and size that you want it is kind of hard to do. So why not build the pool first, and then put the water in later? Introducing the bucket! With this handy tool, you can get some water from a natural water source, and then carry it over to your pool and quickly fill it up! To make it, put one iron ingot in the middle of the bottom row in your crafting table. Then, put one iron ingot on the left side of the middle row, and one on the right side of the middle row. Prepare to carry some water, 'cause you got a bucket!

Well, that's all you really need to make a beautiful home! Now, the rest is up to your imagination! Have fun!

Tuesday, April 5, 2016


Once upon a time, a boy decided to make a cake. The boy got out the flour, the boy got out the eggs. The boy got out the sugar, the boy started to make. He poured the flour in the pot, the eggs and sugar too. He mixed it up, till it was done, but he needed something new! He got the chocolate, he got the salt, he got the potato salad. He dumped the ingredients into the pot, and for luck, he added a mallet. A radish, some leaves, some black pepper cheese, all into the pot they went. He thought it was done, but he wanted some fun, so he added his pet cat named Kent. The batter was done, and he had had some fun, even more than when he climbed trees. In the oven it went, even poor little Kent, at four hundred and ninety degrees. Two hours later, after playing alligator, the boy went to take out his cake. He cut out a slice, and said, "this will suffice." but a second bite,  he did not take.