Tuesday, May 31, 2016

The Strange pie man Meets the Crazy turkey from the Past who has been Brought to the Future by a Time Machine Made out of Nine Million Sixty Thousand One Hundred and Twenty Three Peanuts, Twenty Two Toasters, and Sixty Nine Giant Socks Woven Together By an Ancient wizard Who can Harness the Powers of the Sun At Will

One day, the Strange pie man was walking down the sidewalk, (like most characters in these types of stories do), when suddenly, there was a big flash of light! The Strange pie man let out a scream. "IT'S A TIME MACHINE!!!!!!!" He yelled. But it turned out, that it wasn't actually a time machine, and it was just a big flash of light. So the Strange pie man kept walking down the sidewalk. He had been walking for about half an hour, when suddenly, there was a big flash of light! The Strange pie man let out a sigh. "Oh great, another big flash of light." he said. And he kept walking. Unfortunately, he could not continue his walk, because as soon as he started walking, he ran into a time machine. The Strange pie man let out a yelp. "IT'S A GIANT TOASTER!!!!!" he yelled. But then, out of the giant toaster, came the Strange pie man's friend, the Crazy turkey! The Strange pie man was happy to see him. "Crazy turkey!" he said, "I haven't seen you since you fired that first shot at the revolutionary war, then threw sally into the ocean! What happened to her anyway?"
"Oh, Sally got saved by a seagull after swallowing some seawater, and sinking in a submarine made of salt." said the Crazy turkey.
"Oh yeah!" said the Strange pie man. "That sounds like Sally! So how did you get here to the future?"
"Oh, I met this Ancient wizard who was having a garage sale, so I bought 9,060,123 peanuts, 22 toasters, and nine giant socks, that he had made himself, and a book." said the Crazy turkey. "I went home to read my book, and inside, it had instructions to make a time machine! And it just so happened that the time machine recipe called for exactly 9,060,123 peanuts, 22 toasters, and nine giant socks woven together by an Ancient wizard. So I put it together. Then the book said to take it to the nearest Ancient wizard you know, to make it work. So I took my time machine to the Ancient wizard, and he took out a glowing orange circle with some pictures and writing engraved into it, and put it in one of the toasters. Then he pushed down the toaster lever, and we had to wait a few minutes for it to toast. Then, it finally popped out, and the Ancient wizard left. So I got into my time machine and appeared here."
"Oh, okay!" said the Strange pie man.
So the two walked away together, still good friends. (Not that there was anything wrong with there friendship in the first place.)

The End

Tuesday, May 17, 2016

The Great Armadillo Catcher of the Northern Desert in South Denver in Conneticut

One day, the Great Armadillo Catcher was walking through the jungles of central Nevada, when suddenly, an armadillo rushed past his feet. He chased after it, swinging on vines, jumping on rocks, and running through the sand. He chased after the armadillo for days, never stopping for a break. He chased it through Utah, up into the very corner of Colorado, and into Wyoming. He chased it to Nebraska, running along the border of South Dakota. He followed the armadillo through Iowa. He cut into Wisconsin, just missing Illinois, then made a curve upward, right through Lake Michigan. He went strait through the center of Michigan, just catching the tail of Lake Huron. He got out his passport, and passed through Ontario, coming back into the states right through Lake Ontario. Went from New York strait into Massachusetts, and from there, he went into South Denver, Conneticut. He ran through the streets of South Denver, looking for the armadillo. He headed towards Denver Desert, where he ran all the way to the northern side, where he found the armadillo. So he caught it, sailed on his ship around Florida, through the Bahamas, and into Texas, where he ran back to his house in New Mexico, and put it in his zoo. And no, just because he ran all that way, does not mean that he is Captain America.

The Jouney to the the Great Pandamonium of Life

Once upon a time, there was a small kleep named George. George had a wonderful idea. He was going to go on a quest to the Pandamonium of life. So after carefully packing all of his things into his flaff, he set out on his great adventure. In the great dark flimpzel, he ran into a little plink named Shtataflataminkyponkeyratoosy (Sht-ata-flata-minky-ponkey-rat-oosy). George and Shtataflataminkyponkeyratoosy instantly became friends. So they traveled together. "Flooky roky toky flaminkioky taky waky patroosa?" Shtataflataminkyponkeyratoosy asked George. "Where am I going?", asked George, " I am going to the Pandamonium of life!" "Flisty tody pogo kay!" said Shtataflataminkyponkeyratoosy. So the two of them set off to find the Pandamonium of life! At the rocky hills, they met a mole name Steeeeeeeeeeeeeeeve. He showed them what direction they had to go to get to the Pandamonium. Then they passed Earth Land. There, they met a man named Wolfe­schlegel­stein­hausen­berger­dorff­welche­vor­altern­waren­gewissen­haft­schafers­wessen­schafe­waren­wohl­gepflege­und­sorg­faltig­keit­be­schutzen­vor­an­greifen­durch­ihr­raub­gierig­feinde­welche­vor­altern­zwolf­hundert­tausend­jah­res­voran­die­er­scheinen­von­der­erste­erde­mensch­der­raum­schiff­genacht­mit­tung­stein­und­sieben­iridium­elek­trisch­motors­ge­brauch­licht­als­sein­ur­sprung­von­kraft­ge­start­sein­lange­fahrt­hin­zwischen­stern­artig­raum­auf­der­suchen­nach­bar­schaft­der­stern­welche­ge­habt­be­wohn­bar­planeten­kreise­drehen­sich­und­wo­hin­der­neue­rasse­von­ver­stand­ig­mensch­lich­keit­konnte­fort­pflanzen­und­sicher­freuen­an­lebens­lang­lich­freude­und­ru­he­mit­nicht­ein­furcht­vor­an­greifen­vor­anderer­intelligent­ge­schopfs­von­hin­zwischen­stern­art­ig­raum, who told them that they were almost to the Pandamonium, and they only had twenty feet left to go. So then after about thirty more seconds of travel, they finally got to the Pandamonium of life, which had apparently been turned into an all you can eat buffet since the last time George saw it. So they had some lunch, said thanks to Wolfe­schlegel­stein­hausen­berger­dorff­welche­vor­altern­waren­gewissen­haft­schafers­wessen­schafe­waren­wohl­gepflege­und­sorg­faltig­keit­be­schutzen­vor­an­greifen­durch­ihr­raub­gierig­feinde­welche­vor­altern­zwolf­hundert­tausend­jah­res­voran­die­er­scheinen­von­der­erste­erde­mensch­der­raum­schiff­genacht­mit­tung­stein­und­sieben­iridium­elek­trisch­motors­ge­brauch­licht­als­sein­ur­sprung­von­kraft­ge­start­sein­lange­fahrt­hin­zwischen­stern­artig­raum­auf­der­suchen­nach­bar­schaft­der­stern­welche­ge­habt­be­wohn­bar­planeten­kreise­drehen­sich­und­wo­hin­der­neue­rasse­von­ver­stand­ig­mensch­lich­keit­konnte­fort­pflanzen­und­sicher­freuen­an­lebens­lang­lich­freude­und­ru­he­mit­nicht­ein­furcht­vor­an­greifen­vor­anderer­intelligent­ge­schopfs­von­hin­zwischen­stern­art­ig­raum, and went back to there homes. The End.

(And yes, Wolfe­schlegel­stein­hausen­berger­dorff­welche­vor­altern­waren­gewissen­haft­schafers­wessen­schafe­waren­wohl­gepflege­und­sorg­faltig­keit­be­schutzen­vor­an­greifen­durch­ihr­raub­gierig­feinde­welche­vor­altern­zwolf­hundert­tausend­jah­res­voran­die­er­scheinen­von­der­erste­erde­mensch­der­raum­schiff­genacht­mit­tung­stein­und­sieben­iridium­elek­trisch­motors­ge­brauch­licht­als­sein­ur­sprung­von­kraft­ge­start­sein­lange­fahrt­hin­zwischen­stern­artig­raum­auf­der­suchen­nach­bar­schaft­der­stern­welche­ge­habt­be­wohn­bar­planeten­kreise­drehen­sich­und­wo­hin­der­neue­rasse­von­ver­stand­ig­mensch­lich­keit­konnte­fort­pflanzen­und­sicher­freuen­an­lebens­lang­lich­freude­und­ru­he­mit­nicht­ein­furcht­vor­an­greifen­vor­anderer­intelligent­ge­schopfs­von­hin­zwischen­stern­art­ig­raum is a real name. If you don't believe me, go here.)

Thursday, May 12, 2016

The Adventures of Ham-man and Ebenthefrog

One day, Ham-man and Ebenthefrog were just strolling down the sidewalk, looking for some bad guys to fight and some mysteries to solve, when suddendly... Bam! Mam! Smam! Tam! A giant horse appeared in the sky above them! Ham-man and Ebenthefrog tried to run away, but the horse was really really fast! It charged at them, and started smashing buildings! Then, Ham-man had an idea. He whispered his idea into Ebenthefrog's ear so that the horse wouldn't hear, and started. Ebenthefrog climbed up the horse's leg, got onto his back, and started poking him with his finger, and reciting the formulas for lots of different areas and perimeters, and solving simple alegbra problems. While the horse was distracted, Ham-man got a dump truck full of dirt, and dumped all over the ground around the horses hooves. Then, he hoed down all of the dirt, planted seeds, in it and grew tons of wheat, entangling the horses hooves in all of the wheat grass. Then, while the horse was trying to get out of the wheat grass, and being tortured by all of the poking and complicated math from Ebenthefrog, Ham-man pulled out his famous leather hat, and pulled it over the horse's head. Then Eben the frog teleported the horse away. The End